Bad Date Betty and unsportsmanlike conduct

Once upon a time, in a coffee shop far away (across town), Bad Date Betty had a first date. She’d met a gentleman on a matchmaking website, exchanged a few emails, and decided he was worth date #1. He didn’t display any stalker symptoms, he was articulate, and it appeared that they had some interests in common.

Now understand that Betty had been dating online for a little while and had realized that she was not attracting the right guys, so she had recently edited her profile in hopes of attracting a more cultured gentleman who might not object to an afternoon at a museum once in a while instead of guzzling brewskis by the case while screaming profanities at the referee. Betty loves sports, and loves cheering on a football team or rooting for the local baseball team whenever possible, but she was really craving a change from dating sports fanatics. There is a difference between a fan and a fanatic.

So, Betty shaves her legs, tries on about four outfits, and arrives at the coffee shop precisely two minutes late. If only men understood how much thought can go into a first date. Is my outfit casual but stylish? Should I wear something sexier? Skirt? Does it look like I tried too hard? And why do we bother to shave our legs when there is not a chance in hell that you’ll get to feel them on a first date?

The gentleman is waiting there, having arrived on time as well. Yay! Betty is happy that he didn’t’ lie about being punctual on his profile. Hmm. His hair is a little redder than his photo, but he’s still cute. Her roommate was so wrong when she said he looked like a clown. After they order drinks and settle into some comfy chairs, they start to chat. They talk about their jobs, pets, families, and hobbies. Things are going pretty well… and then the topic changes to sports. Betty lights up and mentions her favorite football team, and how excited she is that the season is starting soon. Her date says, “I’m really not into sports. I never played them as a kid, and I just don’t get all the excitement.” UH OH! Betty’s in trouble. She’s thinking to herself, “He’s cute, he likes a lot of things I like, but he doesn’t like sports? Can I really date someone who doesn’t like sports?” As her date gets up to go to the counter, the following scenario floats through Betty's overactive and oddly intuitive imagination...

It’s November, a cold wintery day, perfect for curling up inside and watching football. It’s an exciting game, and the score is tied with just a few minutes left before half time. Betty is on the edge of her seat, cheering her team on, completely oblivious to her new red-haired boyfriend sitting next to her with a frown on his face. He gets up, grumbling and walks right in front of Betty on his way to the kitchen.

Betty calls out, "Hey, will you bring me another drink? Are there any chips left?" There is a deafening silence from the kitchen...

Betty realizes right there, in the coffee shop, that she needs to go back and edit her profile again. Maybe this time she'll be able to fine tune it so that the perfect sports fan / antique hunter will soon be sending her an email. Be careful what you ask for. Betty doesn’t want someone so cultured that they can’t relax and enjoy a ballgame with her. It’s the “with” part that she wants the most! She wants someone to go to a museum with and to watch tv "with". And an occasional beer guzzling and referee mocking contest is most definitely in order.